You cannot find the answer to despair within yourself. The only One who can do this is Christ. He is my only hope. John 6:37 reminds us: “Whoever comes to me I will never cast out” (ESV). Even when the darkness lasts forever, He will never give up on you. He wants us to take His hand—let Him pull us from the sinking waters.
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Matthew 14: 28-30 (NIV)
The wind and waves listen to His voice, not ours. He wants to guide our feet from the shadow of death to peace. The secret power of staying in recovery comes from knowing how to take care of oneself; more importantly, it comes from knowing the power of the Holy Spirit to see you through.
Living with bipolar I disorder is complex—there are loose wires that will always get tangled, yet that is the journey. Life triggers such as the death of a loved one, chronic pain, or job loss can come out of nowhere, tossing you back into the pit of depression. The minute this happens, the devil has his claws in you, and the negative thinking will whisper doubts into your mind to make you isolate yourself and deepen the hopelessness hole that you are feeling. Do not listen to this lie!
When you are held captive in the pit, it takes everything in you to put your feet on the ground in the morning, muster up the energy to put clothes on, and get your children to school, shower, or brush your teeth. When you cannot think anymore, frustration comes knocking at your door.
You can be a Christian and still experience depression or live with a mental illness that causes severe depression. Living with bipolar disorder is different from person to person. However, research has shown that of those who are diagnosed with bipolar disorder, nearly 83% of cases are severe. Bipolar disorder can require medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, and ongoing support and management.
I have found the following things to be helpful when depression strikes and the darkness is not lifting:
Pray:
Do not push God away. “Draw near and He will draw near to you.” James 4:8 (NIV). When David faced Goliath, he didn’t rely on his strength—he trusted in the power of God’s power and His glory.
Listen To Your Favorite Podcast:
Immerse yourself in topics that interest you and can soothe your mindset—this will help shift your mind from your current thinking and provide a place to relax and rest.
Listen To Music:
Music can trigger the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that people who live with bipolar disorder may experience irregular levels—this can help to boost your mood, alleviate feelings of sadness, and help to enhance your energy levels.
Acknowledge Your Feelings:
It is okay not to be okay. Be kind to yourself and accept that living with bipolar disorder there will be challenging times. Allow yourself the time needed to rest and recover—even if it feels like you are not being productive.
Stay Hydrated:
Due to your lack of energy, you’ll be tempted to grab the quickest thing. Limit your sugar intake, drink plenty of water, and try eating healthy. Staying hydrated provides the mind with the energy it needs.
Break Tasks Into Small Steps:
Depression can make the simplest tasks feel overwhelming. Focus on a tiny goal. One step at a time—one focus at a time.
Journal:
Amazing creativity happens in the darkness. No one else can tell the story that is going on inside your soul like you can—your lived experience is yours. In these quiet times, new ideas, patterns, or solutions can come out of the cracks. Power can happen in this space—miracles can happen when you do it with Jesus.
Seek Council or Help:
Reach out to a supportive loved one or friend. Speak to a mental health professional such as a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist. Join an online community or support group. If you are in a crisis, call or text 988. If you are in immediate danger, dial 911 and ask for a CIT (Crisis Intervention Team), who specializes in handling and responding to mental health crises.
Depression is terrifying, but when we have hope, remember to hold on because the pain will end in time, and the light will shine again. Charles A. Beard famously said, “When it gets dark enough, you can see the stars.”
We have to learn to speak with the authority of heaven behind us when we fall into the dark abyss of despair. In these moments of feeling empty and depleted, powerful change and transformation can emerge. Live in direct obedience to His Word. Fight living with bipolar disorder with the only medicine that Has never failed me yet—Jesus Christ. He is a hope that never fades. He will turn your darkness to light. He has not left you; He is walking beside you—press in and press on.
Photo credit: Blake Cheek
