Some days in life etch themselves into your memory—not because they are beautiful, but because they split your story into “before” and “after.” One of those days for me began with a trembling phone call from my oldest.
Two weeks after that devastating phone call, I sat in the backyard of our rental with my Bible on my lap and a pen in hand, breathing in the heavy, thick August air of Mississippi. The kind of heat that clings to your skin and slows your breathing. Its scorching heat mirrored the suffocating grip of the grief that had taken over my body. I wrote slowly in my journal, as if my words needed time to take root: “We will be sad, but we will not stay stuck.”
It had only been two weeks since we watched flames consume our home, yet it felt like years. Our days blurred into a haze of smoke-scented memories, ash-covered photographs, and tears that wouldn’t stop. Twenty years of our life together, gone in a matter of relentless hours, can shake your entire world.
Yet, even in the heartache, one truth remained: We will not be defined by this loss.
Looking back, I see now that the fire was only one chapter in a long season of losses—deaths we never saw coming, illness that drained us, dreams crumbling in our hands, addiction taking over my son’s life. Each wave of grief crashed down before I could catch my breath from the last. And yet, through it all, God pressed the same truth into my heart: You will feel sad, but you won’t stay stuck.
I didn’t realize back then how often I’d cling to those words like a lifeline. But I’ve come to understand that grief isn’t something you “get over.” It’s something you carry. And even amid the ache, there are moments of joy still shining through, if you’re willing to look for them.
Today, on Grief Awareness Day, we are reminded that grief isn’t a weakness, and healing doesn’t follow a straight line. If you are in the midst of loss, let this day permit you to feel it fully, without shame or deadlines. Allow God to wrap his loving arms around your heartbroken heart because He is the only One who brings healing to the broken-hearted.
Over the years, I’ve realized that loss isn’t always about death. Sometimes it’s the dreams that quietly fade, the friendships that drift apart, the home you had to leave, the health you once enjoyed, or the version of yourself you’ll never be again. These are ambiguous losses, it’s grief our culture often overlooks, but they are real, heavy, and worthy of mourning.
Whether your loss is acknowledged by others or unseen, it is valid. God sees every tear, even the ones you feel silly for shedding.
Grief shatters you into pieces, exposing parts of your heart you never knew existed. It’s hard to understand, but the person you were before grief no longer exists. Once you accept that truth, life starts to move forward, maybe just one small step at a time, or it might feel like two steps forward and one step back, but at least you’re progressing. Embracing this reality is the moment we stop running from grief and allow it to do its work.
Friend, maybe you’re riding your own wave right now, wondering if you’ll ever find your footing again. Keep this in mind: you will feel sad, but you don’t have to stay stuck.
Take a small step today, like reaching out to a friend, taking a deep breath, or acknowledging your feelings before God. Each small step is a victory on its own, and someday you’ll wake up feeling a little less sad and a bit more energized.
Be patient with yourself and allow grace upon grace. If you’re feeling alone on this grief journey, I am here to offer grief coaching or resources to support you through every step of your healing journey.
Lea Turner is an author, speaker, and grief coach passionate about helping others navigate loss with honesty, faith, and compassion. After enduring three years of profound personal tragedy, including the loss of loved ones, cancer, a devastating house fire, addiction in her family, and heart surgery, Lea became a reluctant expert on grief. Her new book, The Freedom to Feel: Finding God in Grief and Trauma, invites readers to embrace their emotions as part of the healing process. She is also the co-founder of Writer-2-Writer, where she helps authors bring their stories to life and launch them into the world with confidence. Lea lives in Mississippi with her husband and five children.
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The Freedom to Feel by: Lea Turner: https://a.co/d/bfBb7Ob
Carrie
I liked your paragraph 8 on loss. Although I have had so many from deaths, all the other ambiguous losses you mentioned, I have also experienced in my 82 years. Through it all, God never leaves me alone. I pray others will know His nearness, as life throws in the losses. When we look at His grace and His blessings, they always outweigh the losses. I miss your mom, but remember her sweetness!😘