Pain has a way of twisting you up inside. Pain will make you do things that you didn’t think you were capable of. Pain brings anger that seems like it will never stop knocking at your door. You live in fear of the thoughts that plague your mind and will not go away. You ask the question, “Where were you when I needed you the most?” The truth is, you are not capable of seeing because our eyes are not fully opened. You can’t handle this type of pain all on your own. We were not made to carry this weight. This level of pain only God can continue to give you a reason to keep going on. There is no easy answer that is going to take the pain away. If left unresolved, you can even forget why and what you were created for.
The legacy of brokenness started from the very beginning with Adam and Eve disobeying God in the Garden of Eden. Since then, humanity has lived in a place of brokenness. The world today sees brokenness around every corner; we see lives fractured and in desperate need of reconstruction. Separation is broken between you and the Father because of the sting of pain. Hope is given to us in 1 Corinthians 15:45 (NIV) when Paul writes, “So it is written: ‘The first man Adam became a living being’; the last Adam, a life-giving Spirit.” The last Adam is the Son of God, Jesus. This is why He was sent: to save us from our sins and to free us from this pain and all this suffering.
It took me years to get through the deep-seated pain of having to accept that I have to live with a brain-based illness. It didn’t seem fair, and life didn’t seem to make sense. You don’t understand the why in all of it. “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord (Isaiah 55:8 NIV). There are some questions we will never know the answers to. Why? Because we cannot see the whole picture. We are not God, and we don’t always know what is good and what is bad. We don’t have that ability to judge. We don’t know what a day may bring, but we do know God is good. Comfort is found in knowing we don’t have to have all the answers and knowing that God’s ways are just.
I pushed God away many times in the pain. I just didn’t understand. I wasn’t asking the right questions. We need to be asking questions. We need to be deepening our faith through the pain. He wants a relationship with you. True knowledge of God is what is found within your heart and soul. Knowing God is not the same as studying theology. When you know God, nothing compares to that feeling of being in God’s presence. It is a feeling of incredible awe and joy.
Sometimes, living with a mental illness, you feel like your back is pushed up against a wall. You don’t feel understood or that anyone is going to understand. You keep a lot to yourself and deal with the pain of suffering in silence. We long for people to want to understand and accept that the human being is both physical and mental. We long to not be cast aside and to not feel the rejection by others that constantly flows like a river. We yearn to not feel all alone. Here is the best news: You are never alone. There are millions of people who live with a mental illness, and there are people who want to help you and want to see you get your life back. Mountains can move, chains can be broken. Hope is never lost because there are resources, good mental health professionals, and people who do understand. Most importantly, there is still an empty grave! You have the authority to declare truth in your life. Are you ready to follow in His footsteps even through all the pain? The world and the flesh will never provide you with the security that only God can provide. Your pain does have a cure, and His name is Jesus.
