The Story Isn’t Over: Finding Purpose After Pain

“Suicide survivor.” Two words I never imagined would be part of my story. Yet, during an intense 2.5-
year battle with anxiety and depression, I attempted to end my life twice, eventually spiraling into
psychosis. At rock bottom, I found myself in a pit littered with guilt and shame, suffocating beneath its
crushing weight. How could a Christ-follower end up here?

But God! Through the relentless love and wisdom of my husband, a faithful group of fasting, praying
friends, and a compassionate, merciful Heavenly Father, He took what the enemy meant for evil, and
redeemed my story with healing, hope, and divine purpose.

If you are battling anxiety and depression, or gripped by suicidal thinking, I want you to know, you are
NOT alone. God designed us in an intricate, wonderful way—body, soul, and spirit. But since the Fall, sin
has left its mark, introducing pain and trauma into our lives, leaving dirty fingerprints on a canvas
intended to shine, reflecting its Creator.

You may be in a dark spot like I was, unable to understand the insomnia, racing thoughts, and overwhelm.
Don’t give up. Even great men of the Bible struggled with anxiety and despair.

Remember the prophet Elijah? He went through a major trial that caused extreme apprehension and
hopelessness.

Elijah had just witnessed the almighty power of God on Mt. Carmel. You can read the gripping account in
1 Kings 18. However, the mountaintop was followed by a deep valley. We see Elijah on the run after
receiving a death threat from King Ahab’s wife, Jezebel. It conjured up such fear that he took his servant
and ran for his life.

When they got to Beersheba, he continued on alone. Elijah began to isolate himself. Pay special attention
to what he requested from God:

“But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree;
and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life;
for I am not better than my fathers.” (1 Kings 19:4, KJV)

Elijah asked the Lord to take his life—he wanted to die. I love the Lord’s response:

“And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and said unto him,
Arise and eat.” (1 Kings 19:5, KJV)

He didn’t rebuke or criticize Elijah. In the middle of an intense trial, Elijah was experiencing physical and
emotional exhaustion. God met him right where he was and provided for his needs, supplying food, water, and rest.

Elijah ate, drank, and rested again. The angel of the Lord woke him, provided more food, and sustained
him supernaturally for forty days until he reached Mount Horeb. When God asked him why he was there,
Elijah was still deeply discouraged:

“And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: for the children of Israel have
forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I
only, am left; and thy seek my life, to take it away.” (1 Kings 19:10, KJV)

Do you hear his despair? He was convinced he was the last prophet still serving God. After another
breathtaking display of divine power—wind, fire, and an earthquake—the Lord spoke in a still, small
voice, asking why Elijah was there. Elijah’s response echoed his first answer.

Instead of reprimanding Elijah, the Lord reassured him—he was not alone. Seven thousand remained
faithful refusing to worship Baal. His mission wasn’t over; God still had a plan; recommissioning him
with new tasks and a successor, Elisha.

Through Elijah’s valley, God provided for every need—food, water, rest, purpose and people to support
him. He was present through every struggle, offering perspective when Elijah lost sight of His plan.

In the battle with anxiety and depression, our inward focus can become so narrow that we miss God’s
presence, His plans for our lives, and the greater story He’s unfolding. Remember how the Lord provided
everything Elijah needed for his body, soul, and spirit? He longs to do the same for you.

God is molding you to look more like Him so you can accurately reflect Him to those around you. Let the
Lord transform your hard story into a story of hope that encourages others and brings great glory to Him.

Maria I. Morgan is an award-winning author and speaker passionate about helping women
break free from anxiety and depression. With a heart for helping others overcome destructive
thought patterns, she equips them to embrace freedom, joy, and purpose in who God created
them to be.
Her upcoming book, Hope Ignited: Set Free from the Grip of Anxiety & Depression (available
late summer/early fall 2025), offers a faith-centered, holistic approach to healing—addressing
body, soul, and spirit. Through personal storytelling, science-backed research, biblical wisdom,
and actionable steps, Maria equips readers with the tools to renew their minds, strengthen their
spiritual foundation, and transform their well-being.
Committed to sharing God’s truth and making an eternal difference, Maria lives in Georgia with
her husband, Steve, their Whoodle (Wheaton Terrier/Poodle mix), and a Maine Coon kitty—
companions who inspire both creativity and joy in her journey.
Connect with Maria:
Website: https://www.mariaimorgan.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maria.morgan.10
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mariaimorgan/
Email: morgan.maria.i@gmail.com