Rejection & Early Wound
Back in sophomore year of college, in undergrad when I was attending Butler University in Indianapolis, Indiana, I found out about an organization that I was pretty pumped to be a part of. It was called Big Brothers Big Sisters. As a dedicated college student, I felt ready to take a younger student under my wing and teach them the ropes. So, I attended an introductory meeting where I filled out an application to be a “big” in hopes to be assigned a “little.”
The application had a portion about medications and any previous diagnoses. I honestly disclosed about my bipolar disorder. My curiosity piqued and I asked someone working for the organization if, for example, someone who was deaf could be a big. And that person shared that anyone with a disability would be unfit to be a big.
My heart sank. Shortly after I found out that my application was officially denied because of my mental disorder. I too was considered unfit to be a big. That stamp—unreliable—smacked onto my forehead really hurt.
Ugh, what a heavy label and burden that was to carry around for the next decade or so.
Kids + Redemption
The first day of spring of 2022, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and I was born again. Literal: best, decision, ever! I became hungry and thirsty for all things Jesus. I joined a church group and began reading the Bible with others and on my own. I also began praying. Through the sweet beginnings of my relationship with Christ, I began sensing a vision.
He began to show me that my life’s purpose involved children. So I quit my job at the time working for adults, and began a job working with children instead. I was a nurse at a facility specially made for children and adolescents with behavioral concerns. My heart ached witnessing the struggle of those children. Many of them had troubled pasts with horrifying stories.
Many kids would physically fight with others or injure themselves repeatedly. Sadly, many times these youngsters would act out just to be physically restrained by staff. Keeping them restrained from endangering themselves or others, gave them what they yearned for—the closest thing to a hug.
Seeing children that had been starved of connection, belonging, and closeness was heart-wrenching. The systems in place at a facility where staff were taught to remain clinical and cold was no place for true and lasting healing.
Ever since God adopted me as His child and into His royal family, He has lightly tapped on the doorway of my heart, ushering me to be part of the remedy and solution for this young population.
May is National Mental Health Awareness Month and National Foster Care Awareness Month. God knows what He’s doing, and He is never late or early; He’s always on time. Last week I had my first home visit for the foster licensing process. I’m presently gladly knee-deep in care trainings and home preparations gearing up to open my home for fostering.
Closing Praises
Rejection served its purposed as redirection and a preparation. It was a not yet, and a not now.
The hand of God is busy in your life. He is at work behind the scenes on your behalf. Allow Him to build, mold, refine, and shape you for His plan. For His will to be done. Thankfully, His ways and plans are higher than our human minds can fathom.
I would not remove any piece of suffering from my life’s experience. This perspective has enriched my life. Every part of our illness or disease—although not from God—can be used by Him for our healing process and for His glory.
Your faithful Heavenly Father listens to each prayer. He loves you and is pleased every time He gets to hear from you.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for all You are. You are love. You created us in Your image. We are grateful for Your Presence, for being alive with breath in our lungs because of You! Praise Your Mighty name for sending Jesus, the Prince of Peace down to earth to live among us. And to die, and to be raised on the third day. Thank You Lord for Jesslyn’s ministry and for giving us hope. We can live victoriously in You. Because of You, we can live free.
In Jesus’ mighty and precious name, Amen!
Bio
Maggie is a registered nurse with a background in behavioral health and over 13 years of nursing experience. She is passionate about mental health advocacy, faith, healing, and helping others feel seen, heard, and known. After contending with bipolar disorder for over 20 years, Maggie now shares her testimony to encourage others that hope, healing, and transformation are possible through Christ. She is currently in the foster care licensing process and feels deeply called to care for children impacted by trauma and mental health challenges. Maggie is also the upcoming author of Seen, Heard & Healed: Faith, Hope & Wholeness for Women with Bipolar Disorder.
Social Media Links
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FB grp: https://www.facebook.com/groups/bipolarcommunityforwomen
